FAQ How Do I get the Girl in My Social Circle!

This Question gets asked all the time.
It is hard to give a simple routine for it and really it is sensitive to the group and the style of the PUA.
But here is what one guys asked me and just the day before a guy on a Phone Consultation asked me about it too.


So here is his question, followed by my response...

El topo,

Basically I need advice on how to go from casual friends w/ a girl in my social circle to becoming sexual/dating her.

I've known her for a while, prior to when I got into this stuff. We party together/have phone conversations from time to time, I'd say I'm in a fair amount of comfort, but I want it to be framed as relationship comfort not like 'were just friends' comfort.

She has a boyfriend, although last time she was at my house we had a huge party she was holding my hand for a while. I assume that's just for attention but who knows. She also randomly mentions him in conversations like 'oh I'm at my bf's house'. So I can assume if she really wanted me she wouldn't mention him at all.

If I had to guess on what to do, I'd say I need to just have sexual conversations with her and frame it as like I'm actually into her, not just a buddy.

I would appreciate your input on the general model of how to turn this casual friend into sex .
I guess it would also be a bf destroyer too...

Thanks so much for your time!

My response...

Man that's a good question.

One thing about this to know is that she most likely has attraction for you.
Girls are like that. It doesn't mean she secretly desires to have you put the moves on you, but I am sure her mind has entertained it.
But mainly she feels comfortable with you as a friend.
Women like to have guys on the side to fulfill their bullshit entourage as well as speak in the language of Jealousy.
A lot of this is unintentional by her, but my main point in this is to show...

YOU CAN GO SOMEWHERE WITH IT!

I have definitely done that a few times, and I have failed at it a few times.
I haven't met you so it is hard for me to say how you could pull it off with your personality.

This sort of thing goes back to framing. and BAITING her into attraction.
Now 'framing' is what defines the social interaction.
With a friend you have got to do it with a smooth transition.
Also I don't know how aggressive you are personality-wise.
If you are the best thing you could do is say this...

"You know X, this is gonna sound weird but I would be lying if I didn't say anything to you. But in the time I have known you and in getting to know you more I have become really attracted to you. And at the same time, I know you have a guy around and being friends is more important to me. But I just had to say something because it deserved to be out there."

She will react to this in confusion and instability.
Now in this she will immediately chose to distance herself from you.
So you have got to be the ALPHA and be the one to CONTROL her STATE (very important)
So as soon as she tries to say..
"Oh, I am sorry I am with Captain Zero"
You have to interrupt her and say,
"Hey, don't answer. Look I am your friend and don't need a reply. I just had to let you know, but this doesn't change anything, so stop freaking out... give me a hug."

So you see how that works?
Let me break it down...

-You go direct which has ultimate alpha-ness, but it puts you at a point of weakness
-But you also show willingness to walk away (an attraction switch) by not being needy. You're saying is boldly like a statement, that you like her, but you're not telling her to make her your girlfriend, you're telling her she needs to know because you think it. It is respect and if she has a problem with it, then she is not a friend.
-Then because you know if she jumps in your arms things will be cool, but I can bet that she will react in trying to push you away. She probably does feel these things towards you, but when a girl is in a bind or anyone really they react in immediate safety. And in this situation, you're the threat.
-So you then work some of my psychological magic (Invictus you should like this one), you do a take away.
She will react right away and then you tell her not to. You tell her not to answer and you say you're her friend and hug her.

This will so cultivate in her head major attraction.
You should not worry about calling her, because it will work itself in her head.
You will have done a major sneak attack in her brain.

Don't seek her out, and don't try and call her.
Let it come around to you. Every time you see her, act normal and be her friend, but her BF's friend. Be Alpha, by not reacting. Maintain the frame, and lead in every social interaction with her.

If you show weakness in this, you will creep her out, if you show confidence she will comply and maintain the frame for you.


Now let's say you don't have the balls for that...
Understandable.
But then you need to run jealousy threads and work your attraction game through the attraction switches.
Main ones...
-Protector of loved ones
-Pre-Selected by women
-Leader of men

Now how you do that is not by a routine here and there, it has to be instilled in you.

But here is some help with that.
Construct your DHV stories to have jealousy plot lines and sexually frame.

Like...
(with friends)
"Man the other night me and Becky (a real girl everyone knows) where hanging out and she got so fucking drunk.
So and so and I were at BAR Z and so was Becky, so we started doing shots and after a while she got really wasted, and so I knew I had to stop and look after her.
There were these frat guys there and they kept trying to talk to her, and you know it is no big deal... I know women like to get some just as much as guys, I judge NOT! But she's like one of my better looking friends and
I know Becky pretty well and I know she wouldn't want to have a bunch of meat heads all over her.
So I took her by the out to get some fresh air outside, and it was like one of those moments you know...
I mean i could see it in her eyes.
I knew it could be a trouble night for her.
So I called her friend Crystal and waited for her to pick her up.
It is like one of those things where you're drunk and lonely but it is always a weird thing waking up next to somebody in the morning that you don't really know.
Like who, hasn't done that???"

There will be a bullshit reply from friends, men and women...

"Ok you're all full of shit. It is totally cool, I mean I would like to say that this sort of thing has happened to me all the time, but one thing I will say is when it has, I actually really respect it. Nothing big, about it, I just realize sometimes you have got to live life and when weird things come up, it is better to make the best of them and see them as experiences rather than consequences."

Again I really don't know what you're all about. but take that information and come up with something that fit that general outline.

Word

ET

The RED Stack FAQ

Hey Folks,

I have gotten a huge amount of emails regarding the customized routine stacks I do.
So here is kind of the thing with them.

They are custom routines that go form open to close.
They are personalized to fit your life and to make you (not some BS facade) look attractive.
I work in about 6-8 routines per stack.
It is about 30 mins of material.
And it is designed to have your frames and comfort all built in.
Your transitions are explained and put right into the stack.

Before I do the stack I have you call me and fill out a profile of yourself.
This is my foundation for building it
Then after the stack is done, we talk on the phone again and go over delivery and how you can work the stack to your advantage.

There is a post form last month called The RED Stack ( http://the-red-mole.blogspot.com/2007/09/red-stack.html ), where I really break it down well.
The thing is that I the stack is new routines, that are based on your life.
You get to be yourself and show the best parts about you, while following a concrete seduction model.

If you're interested in getting one done, they take about a week
so just email me and we'll get started!

el.topo.el@gmail.com

Kung Fu Penis Testimonial!

With only one day of it being posted already I have heard success stories.
So why don't I use this opportunity to advertise myself a bit more.

Hit me up over email if you want to know more about framing and the pace of routine stacking.
This is the cheapest and easiest way to build up calibration.
The more you can go from open to close the better you'll develop a social calibration.
For instance, all the instructors I know don't need to listen to students in a set. They are so calibrated that they can watch from a far and tell you everything that went right and wrong. We can do that, because we have been in so many that have gone from open to close.
Thus the routine stack! If you work a consistent stack you can work the same material over and over again and develop a sense of how similarly and differently people react to it.
Plus the material is all different. It has a completely different approach and the routines have not been used. Also they are made to fit your life.
EL.TOPO.EL@GMAIL.COM

Thanks and here is a story from the Kung Fu Penis Chronicles.
This guy is a student of mine from a Boot Camp a few months back...

Dude,
I had to write this to you now while it's fresh in my head.
Just a day
after I had read your post on Kung Fu penis, and just 4 hours after I added
this girl to msn that I met last week at the bar I ended up banging her with
authority.

I had a get together for drinks tonight with this girl after she
suggested it over msn. I knew it was super on because of her eagerness to
find out what I was doing tonight, and because she was accepting the sexual
framing I was doing over msn (Me: "You and me doing tequila shots is just a
recipe for disaster and nakedness." Her: "haha I like that idea. I'm not
going to lie.").
Attraction was there, and I didn't think Comfort was totally
necessary.
After drinks we came back here. Some cuddling on the couch, some
movie watching, some making out. Then it came time to escalate. I grabbed
her tits under her shirt, I rubbed her through her jeans, she rubbed me
through mine, but when I went for the hand down her pants she pushed my hand
away.
As familiar a situation as this was for me, I've never been able to
change a girl's mind on letting me down her pants on the same night that she's
decided not to.
So I start using what I could remember from your post. I rarely talk during
sex/foreplay, but when I do it's usually me whispering for her to go deeper or
harder.
So I touch my dick, ask her what I'm doing right now. Ask her
several times, but she just keeps saying "touching my crotch". So I tell her
that she's gotten me hard, and what is she doing to me (to which she always
responds "But I didn't do anything.").
I tell her that she must be soaking wet
to which she giggles and smiles. She suggests we move to the bedroom. Asks
me what I want to do. I tell her that I want her to make me cum.
She gets me
naked, gets herself naked.
Begs for me to fuck her. I do for a bit, but I
want to push it further and try to get anal using the way you wrote about.
I stop fucking her and try to make out with her a bit, but she goes straight to
ripping the condom off and giving me head - unexpected but awesome
nonetheless.
While she's giving me head I quote you; telling her to "make
that cock cum." After a bit more of this I stop and go with your next line -

"I need your ass to cum". When she didn't object to this I thought that it
was only because she didn't understand what I meant, but after some finger-ass
action and her trying to guide me into her chocolate covered starfish I knew
she got the memo. We stopped after a minute or so because it was too painful
for her (lube was applied to no help), and then resumed vaginal fucking until
I let it rip over her face.

Conclusion: The main things about this interaction that surprised me were
1)
After her pushing my hand away earlier when I tried to go down her pants, we
ended up banging;
2)
This girl was willing to do anal with a guy she's only
spent 4 hours with in total previous, and it's not like she's an anal fiend
either - according to her she's only done it once before when she was drunk;
3)
Just like you said - she seemed determined to make me cum in any way I
suggested to her. She let me do anything I suggested or attempted.
4)
Even though our first "date" mostly involved sex (and not even great sex -
I never gave her an orgasm, let alone finger her for more than 10 seconds),
she was still all hugs and kisses afterwards and saying how she hopes we get
to hang out again. It didn't even seem like we connected on any emotional
level, or that I offered her any reason to become invested in me.

Like holy fuck, I guess the long and short of it is that I used methods
you talked about in your post (even Pimp Slim's line about her thinking about
how huge my cock was); I didn't even do them perfectly, but I still managed on
this one night to blow through any LMR she might've had, got her to respond
and participate in the sexual narration I was doing, and even allow me to fuck
her in the ass after I threw the idea out there.

This shit was deep and I couldn't believe what I was capable of when
I actually tried it - kind of like how any guy can't believe what they're
capable of when they try MM on girls in bars.
I have a movie date with a different one tomorrow which will hopefully be
another chance to practice KFpenis. Although carrying on several
relationships at the same time in this small town may be difficult even if I'm
not going out with any of the girls exclusively. Any suggestions on how I
could tell each of the girls that I'm currently involved with other girls, and
not looking for an exclusive relationship?

RESPONSE

I figure pimps have been around in small towns. But yes, small populations are hard to deal with.
Again, back to Captain Jack, although Dallas is a huge city Captain Jack got a good number of his SNLs out of the same bar. His identity was the guy that fucked all the girls.
I believe you can do this in a small town, and I remember at Boot Camp Sinn told you to move.
If I were to give you advice here it would really be theoretical.
But I think you can pull it off. You just need to make it clear, you are not looking to settle down.
You need to emote the idea that you are a 100% bachelor.
I think that this being your first experience with the KFP, I am happy it went so well.
It does not always go that smoothly. So just know sometimes you'll have to fight for it more.
But once you get the girl hooked on it, they will literally do anything.

Word

ET

What's the Password...

So this was emailed to me in response to my Kung Fu Penis post.
I am putting it up there, because as i was reading it, I was like... man I can relate to that.
I figure other guys into this stuff can too.
So here it is...

It make total sense as well.

From an anonymous friend-


I was young (I'm talking 6 or 7 here) when I found my dad's stash of Penthouse magazines.

I really liked the naked women, but had absolutely no clue what the hell was going on downstairs. I literally remember like it was yesterday. I remember thinking that it looked like a hairy pecan.

I could, however, read and I found myself drawn to the forum/letters section.

I had no idea what the hell half the words meant, but I had a dictionary and I soon widened my vocabulary to a dangerous level for someone under the age of ten.

I was amazed as I read the letters and then flipped through the dictionary for descriptions of what was occurring. I couldn't believe how non-magical and how very dirty sex was.

Looking back, I don't think I've ever studied as long and as hard(no pun intended) on any subject since.

In, sixth or seventh grade, I made myself known to girls by showing them words I'd learned. Not the actions, just the explanations.

As disgusting as most of those words would sound to most kids, for some reason girls would keep coming back to learn new words from me.

When it came time for high school and a few of my friends had actually gotten laid I noticed that their girlfriends would complain to me that my friends were boring when they fucked and that they were mostly two pump chumps.

They complained to me, because I was the shy, safe one.

While they chewed my ear off, I would say things to them like "Maybe if you'd sucked his cock better, he'd pin you down and fuck you hard like I do to girls" or "I like when girls are dirty and show me the come in their mouth before they swallow."

The thing here was that I wasn't getting laid. I didn't, actually, until after high school. I would always use one or two line sentences because I didn't want to be scrutinized and busted.

In my mind I was talking about the girls standing in front of me.

What I learned in these conversations is that I could practice covertly talking dirty to girls who weren't offended because we were loosely in the same social circle, and again, I wasn't seen as a threat.

I tell you what though, threat or not, girls would come to me to hear about the things I would do to a girl and eventually my girlfriends outnumbered my guy friends.

I knew I was good at the shit, but I never had the balls to man up and fuck any of them.

Thing is, since high school I've ran back into a few of them and to a T, they've almost all said that they thought my shyness was cute, that they remember how dirty I talked and that they wanted to hook up with me in high school, but I never made a move on them.

**We've all got stories like that. Unfortunately, years of crapping out babies and hitting the lard buffet has destroyed most of them physically.**

I guess what I'm saying is that I not only agree with sexualizing things with dirty talk early on is good ground work, but I KNOW that the shit works!

As I look back on my history, the women who were the freakiest in bed were the ones that I allowed to be by setting the right tone for them to be (I think that sentence makes sense).


Here's what the fuck I'm saying:

I BELIEVE IN THE WORDS OF REAL PIMPS!

I BELIEVE IN THE WORDS OF PROSTITUTE!!

I BELIEVE IN THE WORDS OF ESCORTS!!!

I BELIEVE IN THE WORDS OF TRANNY'S AT THE LESBIAN BARS!!!!

I BELIEVE THEIR WORDS BECAUSE THEY ARE THE WORDS OF PEOPLE WHOSE LIVELIHOODS DEPEND ON KNOWING WHAT GETS DICKS HARD AND PUSSIES WET!!!!!

It's the language, son. It's all about the cunning linguistics.

Alexyss K Tylor is a fucking Genius!

I know I have to say it again and again, but this lady knows her stuff.
I watch her on youtube and get virile AND pumped LIKE a GOD of VIGINA POWER!

Man she is a Genius!
People think I am joking, but she knows her shit.
As she has selfproclaimed
She has a PHD in getting fucked and sucked and used and ABUSED!

Check her out!
If you'e not causing a woman to make a TV show dedicated to the Vagina Powers you're not a PUA!

http://youtube.com/watch?v=N391gDkHcrE
http://youtube.com/watch?v=JdGJxI6LrX4
http://youtube.com/watch?v=z5tNTZ5WE0U
http://youtube.com/watch?v=8Y3HF0BYtbk

Learn the POWER of the PENIS and the SPIRITUALITY of the SPERM!

Let's Clear Something up...

So fellas... it has been a long two weeks.
I have been teaching non-stop and this is my first day off in 10 days.
So when I get emails like this is sucks.

#1 I answer everyone's email
#2 I hold nothing back from my blog, if your read my blog you can get good. It is really hard but you can.
#3 Anything I get money for, I deserve. I work my ass off. Anybody who knows me in the community and anybody who I have taught knows I give it more than anyone.

So when I get an email like this it is kind of sad.

So we'll start with posting the initial email.

"Hey i have recently stumbled upon your blog via sinns and CJ's and i like the way you teach and explain and not just post LR's. keep it up!

I have a few questions, not about pickup specifics (i can get them anywhere) but certain things that will help me in a different way.

Firstly, from the day you made your first cold approach, how long was it before you had that feeling that you were able to go out and get laid with a quality woman? - Ive been at it 3 months and i have pulled 10 girls on seperate nights out but no lays yet (logistics, damn them or i would have had 2) and i have a plan to pull 10's consistantly within 3 years!

What is your success rate in terms of percentage of girls opened to girls you manage to lay? (if thats the goal?) Discounting warm up sets or general chit chat i would say my percentage is about 25% of girls opened to girls kissed!

Advice time

I have about 4 girls who i could have sex with at anytime.. trouble is i dont particulary like them much. Fuckable probably but they are about a 6/10 at best. I personally only like making an effort with girls who are hot enough to have a relationship with (whether i have one or not) so i am torn. On one hand i want to remain strict to myself and only have sex when i pull a girl who is hot enough for me.. however long that takes. This should keep me focused on my skillset and keep me opening or on the other hand have sex with these 4 girls and maybe il get a huge boost of sexual confidence that will help my game.. Hmm what do you think?

If you could answer these i would be very grateful.
Thanks for your time."

As I said, I was busy for a week. I stayed up till 6am after working a BC in Vegas to write this guy back. I actually felt terrible about not getting back to everybody in so long.
I literally get 10-15 emails a day. So I had a lot backed up.

Guys look, I am the nice guy here. As you may know a lot of instructors are not. But as you can read all over the internet I am the nice guy. And I am a really good teacher.
So I emailed him back the truth...
Pulling 10s consistently is a hard thing to do,
Pulling 10 girls in 3 months is great!
Sexual framing is the key to that and here is how you do it...
You build a routine stack that is calculated (one listed FOR FREE on my blog)
You learn how to frame and WHY it works (listed for FREE on MY blog, and CJ and Sinn's)
And maybe do a phone consultation.
I do these things for hire. That's how I make my money.
It will be a super good stack, and you will get into comfort with it no problem.
It takes me hours because it is customized to your life and identity.
I mean about 4-5 hours per stack. Anyone else offering that...

NO!

So after all that he replies to me with this...

"I didnt realise it would be an opportunity to sell me something, how naive of me! You should make that clear before people take the trouble to email you."

Now out of over 50 emails this was the only reply like this I have gotten.
But if this is a popular opinion then I will only post LRs on my blog and stop with any sort of teaching or instructional resources.

Let me know.
I do answer everyone's email personally,
so man if it is not clear now that I am open to ANY Questions and give an ANSWER back to them, and in that say I offer Routine Stacks and Phone Consults for sale no need to email me.

Sorry my free advice was not what you wanted,
but in reality (you know who you are)
if you're going to get this thing, you work it and take it on full fledged!
Keep at it, but no need for me to take the "trouble" in answering any more of your questions.

ET

Buying Some Time

Readers of my blog...

I am sorry I have not gotten to the emails in the past few days.
Super busy with work and working on some new 'game' theory.

It will all pay off in the long run.
I know I have a reputation for giving my all to those who want it.
And I will give it.
Just give me a few more days.

It is hard going out and experimenting on new stuff and working my regular job and keeping up with all the great questions coming in.

I will get to them all
no doubt.

And there is going to be some pretty awesome posts coming up.
Working on a lot of framing and carving out some new routes in comfort.
I don't know how confident I am just yet to start posting on some of my new integrations with
psychological theory and game, but that stuff is coming.
It is still at the point where I am not able to explain it as efficiently as I would like to, but it is coming.

So if you have hit me up with a question about routine stacks, one on ones, phone consults, or anything else, your answer is coming.

Word

ET