Sunday, October 12, 2008

Basics of Sub Communications towards Seduction

So when we start out gaming we look online for all these different theories and exercises that will help us get the types of women we want in our life.
In fact there are tons of different and complex ways to look at it.

I always think that my take on it all is very simple but my students tell me it is complex…go figure.

As I mentioned in my last post I said I have been hanging out with a bunch of people that are crazily good.
As I saw Algasim pull again last night, when I as winging my buddy Ryan and I thought to myself… ‘fucking Algasim.’ As he walked off again in 20mins flat.
Later on I had to leverage my wit to get myself out of my winging situation by making friends with rock ‘n roll stars, mma icons and some of the most interesting hairdressers I have met.
Pretty interesting night to say the least. Tomorrow should actually be better, cause I am doing a photo shoot with quite possibly the most famous person I have ever had the opportunity to do one with. This time I will not actually be behind the lens.
If it all pans out, I will fill you it.

But something that I want to bring up here is to simplify things a little.
It again has to do with that fun phase of Seduction, but these are just a few pointers that will help you get the basics of sub communications down.
Something not enough people talk about, but something that more people should talk about.

So here are a few pointers that people ask me about…

First is Screening-
For you to get good with your own sub communications, you need to get good at reading other's.
People are critical over screening, but let’s define that a little bit more. Most of game is designed to fit a club, some in the day time, some for social circle, and others for whatever various forms. Those are all forms of screening.
So when you hear CJ, Sinn, myself or whoever else talk about screening this is what we mean (and actually I can only speak for myself, but I have been pretty tight with those guys, I think I will do it justice in speaking for all) …
Screening for us is looking at who is the most logistically approachable that fits our taste. When I say approach, it doesn’t mean just open, it mean open and take it to where we want it. That could be SNLing someone, that could mean finding a girl to date, or whatever your goals might be. What we look for while screening is reading the social dynamic. Who they are with, what are their personality traits, when is the best time to approach and what they will be receptive to.
I actually wish I talked to DJ Fuji more about this, because he would take this stuff and run with it animal style...but it is a good exercise to do. You have got to learn how to read the room. It is stupid to walk into all your situations blindly.
So what do you screen for?
Figure out what you want in Game, and look for ways to find that or bring that out of a person before you approach. But always be proactive and approach.

Second is use of Body Positioning-
Now people might call this locking in, but the main thing is that you are using where you are in the set to work for you. It will take care of a lot. If you can do that and keep talking you will have less of a probability of getting blown out.
So let’s take it form an angle of locking in…
Locking in means having the most socially comfortable and dominant position in the group. That usually means leaning back against something. But think of it in this way, think of it as you are shaping the space of the group.
You need to penetrate the shape of the group.
You need to open the group and not stand outside of that group you want to get inside of it, comfortably within the first 30 seconds and have the group reshape around you.
That is dominant and you should do it comfortably.
The key is that this should be your goal throughout the set. Even when you isolate, you need to need to define the space you are having with them. That is how you build compliance towards dominance and even logistics.

Third is Spatial Relevance-
Nobody ever talks about this, but let me tell you this, Spatial Relevance does more for you than routines can do. It will help with screening and it will help elicit emotions or states more than other things.
So what this means is that when you are in set stand closer to your target than what you might feel is normal. When you qualify stand very close to them holding eye contact (the next tip in this post) and ask the qualifier. At the end of the question when you are waiting for a reply you can rock back slightly to use your body language to have them lean into you when answering.
Something you should try to get a feel for this is one night open sets and stand too close, but standing at various angle.
Another night try standing too close, but being face to face with them.
Another night try standing a step farther away from them, at various angles.
Then another standing a step further away but face to face with them.
You shouldn’t only do one, you need to work them all as an orchestration, but standing close elicits sexuality right away in set. It is one of the first things you can do when entering a set to calibrate for responsiveness to sexuality.
Try this-
Enter a set and within 30 seconds, ask your target a qualifier something like, “I bet you’re the one in the group that gets out of trouble the most, I can tell from how you dress, it’s cute, that you work that angle. So let me ask you this, what are people’s first impression of you?”
While doing this go in at an angle fairly close to her while smiling and say this.
As soon as you say the ‘first impression’ part lean back at an angle as if you are looking out of the corner of your eye.
Play with this idea and it will bring out some amazing results.
It is actually opposite of what was traditionally taught but if I didn’t see Shaft do it so many times and have it turn into 15min pulls than I wouldn’t have tried it. It works and it is dominant too.

Fourth is Eye Contact-
So here is the deal with this, when you hold eye contact it is a dominant way of communicating. You don’t always want to have it, you do need to look away, but when someone is qualifying back to you, you should try holding it.
But here is the real money shot with eye contact, people will match your emotions you express with your face while holding eye contact.
Even like how I listed above, eye contact can be used in how you look at people too. Looking at someone out of the corner of your eye from an angle can elicit emotions that bait sexuality back to you. Don’t go out and try and only soul gaze, but try and use have someone match different emotions one night you go out, by only using eye contact and facial expressions.
Also when you open and someone shit tests you, try saying something as bland as, “what are you talking about?” while holding eye contact. They usually will submit.
In terms of eliciting sexuality in a conversation and going sexual early eye contact is super necessary. That is why Gunwitch and CJ always said when they were in set and a girl was talking they would be looking at them and imagining having sex with them. It works in a pretty efficient way.

The fifth tip I will give is Touching-
So with this we all think of escalating and some sort of touching routines.
Those are all good things, but here is what I say, get touching out of the way by doing it on the opener.
But the real thing is, just like with the above-mentioned forms of communication you can sub communicate a lot with them. So let’s think of the idea in terms of Push Pull, work touching in that way. But not just pulling someone in and pushing them away and pulling them back. That is right, but think of doing it at key points. When qualifying or eliciting sexuality with your face and tonality (something I may talk about in a different post but important) pull them in and then slightly push them away when you are done talking, then without 2 seconds passing pull them right back in and either continue with that feeling or talk about something else.
Mind you, you don’t have to be talking about anything sexual, you are communicating with your body, voice and how you are interacting. I am not saying you can’t bring up something sexual, but at first try it without bringing anything up and see how effective it is.

Here is an example that will tie a bunch of stuff in together, hopefully it reads well (much easier to show than write about),

You’re in close on them at an angle with your hand on the back of their elbow. You pull them in.
“So one of the things I noticed about you, is that you can be a really shy person when your friends aren’t around”
Turn slightly towards them while holding eye contact, build a smile as you deliver the next line, and pull her in more with your arm.
“Like I bet you are totally one of those girls that is timid about trying new things, but when you do you take it and run with it.”
Rock back not by moving away but by turning out and pushing her away. Then immediately pull her back and say,
“I am not sure what I can relate with more, but I always know when I jump good things can happen”
Lean back and let go of touching her and qualify.
“so what is something that you feel is the most spontaneous thing you have done?”
Don’t wait for her to answer, and take a step in pulling her in at the waist at the same time too saying in a joking manner,
“You don’t even need to answer that, I can see your wheels turning, I wouldn’t even want to be around you if all the lights went out in this place, cause I don’t know if I would be ready for it.”
You take a step back pushing her away lightly, then take a different angle and jump threads to something else.

But there you see how the compliance is built for touching and spatial relevance mixed in with qualification and framing all takes place. Try it and see what results you get.

And let me know how it goes!

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Seduction Overrides All

So in the past few days, people have been searching for the ancient KFP post.
I have always said I would rewrite it, but my ideas on seduction have evolved since I posted that over a year ago. So I will leave you with this post which will at least get you talking about sex, and seeing an escalation to it.

In fact it couldn’t come at a better time. I have been hanging out with a bunch of PUAs all over from Atlanta to Dallas, to Austin, to San Diego, to Orange County, to LA, and now in Las Vegas, and the main difference in them all is whether or not they are comfortable with sex or not. The ones who are comfortable get 20min to 2 hour closes and the ones that aren’t don’t close nearly as much and quickly.

Aside for the amount and time that it takes for someone to close, what I feel the real issue is, that lack of sexual confidence men come in with. As one of the first things that is brought up in the community is, men don’t know how to be men. Men are not comfortable talking about sex or how to go all out with it.

In fact I know a lot of the biggest names in the community and I have been out there with many of them, and from what I have seen on this last trip is the guys that know how to express sexuality and are comfortable with it out lay any PUA. The PUA can be a Guru or not, but if you know some skill and how to be sexual, that build more attraction than talking to someone about getting into a fight with 10 of your friends over your ex girlfriend who is a stripper.

What is even more weird, is when you see your students who you taught a year ago or even a month ago be able to pull off a 20min lays in a club, like I saw Algasim do 2 nights ago in Vegas.
In San Diego there is Kamouflage, one of Mehow’s Instructors who I taught, but has also surpassed many of my teaching with his own, pull every night and bring a harem of undeniably 10s to the club with him. Kamouflage does what I teach in super high stimulus clubs and it is very much how I teach, but he does it on a whole new level.
It is also weird when my buddy Brando who I taught last year is doing the same thing.
Then there is Jtime and Soco in Atlanta who were able to pull 4 strippers from a club to their house in the same night. This does not happen even with the best PUAs focused on Stripper Game.
On my 1-on-1 with Jtime back a few months ago he SNLed a stripper on his first fucking night out. And Soco has only been in the game for the past 2 months.

But what is totally alien to me, is to see how nonsexual the community can be. That is the first style of game I learned. CJ showed me a different style. On ewhere you skip a lot of attraction, and one where you skip a lot of comfort. What CJ always told me was, that he never wanted to get attention, he wanted to get the women he wanted in his life.

I mean there are so many people in the community who are great at opening up large and difficult sets, but they don’t know how to be sexual. And the overriding theme that I notice in the guys I have run into on the road that are as good or better than Gurus is they are comfortable with being sexual.

One thing Algasim told me the other night was that one of the big changes in his game was when I told him that it was alright to tell a girl, ‘I am going to have to split you in two if you keep talking to me like that’. He told me, he always had pretty perverted mind, but he just didn’t know how to bring it up.

So one of the things about game is that you need to be sexually comfortable. Today in our society the image that the US puts off is that we are a sexually open society, but in reality we are sexually repressed. People would rather not talk about it, but sell it. It is something we all recognize but can’t address with ourselves personally. For the most part Sex s motivated by shame in the norm of our society.
This is actually the fundamental theme of Captain Jack’s SNL model, you’re not making sex a shameful act, you are making it something that is normal and liberating.

So when it comes to the working those quick lays, the idea of ‘Seduction’ has got to come early. This is why I told Algasim to tease with sexuality.

So if step one is building a belief that sex is not something that is alien and perverse and something that is comfortable and normal that is the first step.
So the beginnings of Seduction need to start n your Attraction Game.
How do we do that?
Well what makes attraction?
Being Dismissive, Teasing, Dominance, Multi-threading, Takeaways, Value, etc.

So how do we make them sexualized? Well, what I teach in theREDstack is to do this, take all the elements of Attraction and use them to ground and frame. Now to be fair, all you can really write about is dialog rather than all the other characteristics like Body Language, Tonality and Touching. So in this we will mainly talk about what you say, dialog.

Here is an Example:

You are the middle child in your family. You have an older brother and a younger sister.
Here is what I would give them as a neg or tease to help ground them.

“Look, that shit doesn’t work on me, I mean my little sister used to do the same thing when she would get nervous…maybe if we were related I might fall for it, but come on”

So that actually has a little bit of room to ground from and you could do much more.
But let’s figure out how to also add some sexuality to it.

“Look, that shit doesn’t work on me, I mean my little sister used to do the same thing when she would get nervous…but you’re only nervous cause you know I might have to spank you for that, but you’re probably one of those girls who would actually like that, so forget it.”

Now I realize some of you might be thinking, ‘How the fuck do I say that?’ and anybody who has hung out with me knows I say much worse than that. But here is a bit of a ladder you are can use to have sexuality go from polite to totally over the top, so you can safely feel that you can dip your feet in the water a bit.

The thing to know about this is that although this is a ladder it does not go one after the other. You will have to fill in the blanks yourself. So get some basic attraction stuff, and some grounding/framing stuff and go to town!
Or you can just get theREDstack and get it all done for you…

-OMG, I can’t believe you said that, but you know what… I can tell, especially with that hairstyle, that you were always one of those girls that had a really cute look to you, but I bet that kept you out of trouble.

-Now I know you like you hand in the cookie jar, but sometimes getting caught is what you were always looking for.

-Like I can tell with you that you always liked to get into trouble, it was always fun, but once you got caught that is when you would feel bad about it.

-That is the shitty thing about society, is people think about and perceive women in different ways. Like my friend Denise always say that men like sex more than women, and I couldn’t disagree with him more. I think that women like sex as much as men if not more.

-You know if you keep looking at me like that, (I am going to have to make a woman out of you- I am going to have to start hitting on you- I am going to have to take you over in that corner and press you up against the wall and take you right there)

-Here give me your hand (slap it). See with a girl like you that sort of thing feels good. You’re totally one of those girls that like to have her hair pulled and ass slapped, I bet your favorite position is from behind.

(a side note, notice that most of these are cold reads, one day I hope that people actually take advantage of how you can sexually cold read a person. Again a post I need to thoroughly write.)

-I bet you would be a lesbian, especially with your luck with men, if you didn’t like dick so much.

-I mean what was you first impression of me? Right off the top of your head…what was something that you actually noticed right away?
That is the funny thing, cause you are totally one of those visual girls that likes to watch how someone moves and interacts rather than what they are saying…at least when you first meet them. Like I bet when you talk to a guy you can actually figure out if he is good in bed before he even opens his mouth.

-I mean I know guys are really visual and they might be looking a girl up and down or something, but girls are just as visual but they just don’t show it how they look at someone like a guys does. Like I bet with your dirty mind you probably have thought about how big my dick is while we have been sitting here talking.

-I bet that you have really high sex drive…like you have friends that might be more promiscuous but the main thing is that is you are allowed/open to feel comfortable with someone you totally let loose. I bet sometimes you get so turned on that it is embarrassing how wet you get.
-I bet you can’t make me cum…I will totally turn you inside and out. You are one of those girls that doesn’t cum too easily, but I bet I will make you squirt.

Hope this helps