Sunday, April 27, 2008

More Insights from theREDstack

Setting your Roots and Building Frames

If you have frames being built, it is always something good to have something that can root it, and have it grow.

Here is the deal,
In my pick up,
I want to stimulate emotion. Now because I have stimulated it in someone, I in a sense have control over that. But once you have stimulated someone emotionally building an identity around it, you want that to keep going. From that moment on you need to be the one leading their emotional states.
But your goal at first is to get her to comply and feel something pretty intense. Once you get that emotional surge you can turn that emotion into something else and merge it with other emotions. So when you want someone’s emotions to follow your lead, you can have that foundation to build off of.

One example of this is to do, is try and get someone to think back to childhood and get something from there.
For example-

You know earlier today I was cleaning out my house (room, car, whatever) and I came upon this old painting that my friend had done for me in Hawaii. It is one of those things that I always forget I have, then you see it and it totally makes you think of a certain moment. And it is like so real it always surprises me. You know what I mean?

Like sometimes I will be walking around and I will catch the fragrance of something and it will immediately bring me back to my childhood, and even if I tried to remember those things it could not be that vivid.
You’ve felt something like that right?

So when I saw this painting it brought me back to that time in my life where I first realized what I was going to do with my life. Like in that one moment I felt that ambition, that drive that passion, that freedom that was going to take me to where I needed to be. I knew I was going to be there.
It is like when you’re a little kid and you want something really bad and you feel it with every part of your body.
I love it when thing like that happen, because it reminds me of the things that made me.
Sometimes I get so caught up in work and the end result I forget how all the best things in my life came to me by letting go and just turning it over. And starting to see life whatever comes my way a part of the path, rather than an obstacle.

And really you can go anywhere from here. Let’s say you grew up religious and now you’re not, but you want to bring in a story about how you’ve walked a road where you’ve brought together your present and your past to define you. And you’re not ashamed to talk about your religious up bringing and how it shaped you.

You can say something like this…

You know when I was cleaning up my house today I noticed this old book my father gave me, and he was a preacher. But my family has a whole line of preachers… and that’s what I wanted to be.

And in this book it was like one of those things where for that split second you are taken back in time. It is like I can see and hear and smell everything and it is there forever… and then its gone.

Just in an instant all that happens. It is like I am that little kid in Texas having the wind blow by me in a field on that open land, underneath the big sky.

I mean… you probably have something like that right?
But I love it when that happens, cause it reminds me of who I am. I mean I used to be ashamed of being raised so religious, because I broke from it and you go through that rebellion phase to justify my change in beliefs.

But now, I take it for what it is, it is a part of me. And that’s how life should be.
It is like, when you fuck up, it may hurt, you may screw yourself over but those black eyes and scares are the beauty we forget to look at. And they’re the most important things in life usually.
All the great things in my life came from desperation not inspiration. In fact one thing that I remembered when I saw that book today was, my father telling me,
‘(your name), people always told me God doesn’t give you more than you can handle, but I disagree. He gives you more than you can handle, so you can turn it over to him.

Okay, so you might be thinking these are great comfort stories, and they are, but they are more than that…

One they set the root. They are so hooking emotionally that she will grab onto some part.
They are building a foundation to define emotions, and how they work in your interaction with your target. This is why during the story you always should state (not ask) ‘you know what I mean’, ‘you have felt that before’ little statements to force investment and they are also what I call (conveniently taken from Juggler) check-in statements. They are a good way of breaking up conversation to allow it to continue and they also build compliance towards your target investing in the conversation.

So let’s take that story and give it a solid frame. We have all the emotional set up and the compliance, now we are going to give that emotion an identity that works for a more efficient game. You just got done talking about things that had to do with vulnerability.
Let’s put that into a frame on non-judgment and sexual openness.
I will pick up from the last few lines above.

It is like, when you fuck up, it may hurt, you may screw yourself over but those black eyes and scares are the beauty we forget to look at. And they’re the most important things in life usually.
All the great things in my life came from desperation not inspiration. In fact one thing that I remembered when I saw that book today was, my father telling me,
‘(your name), people always told me God doesn’t give you more than you can handle, but I disagree. He gives you more than you can handle, so you can turn it over to him.

FRAME BEGINS

But one of those things, and I am not trying to say anything weird or put you on the spot here, but you have probably had crazy stuff had happen in your life. And for women things are so different than with men. Women’s issues in our society are so exploitive.
Like in terms of sex…

Women communicate sexually so much more then men actually. They just do it all different. But when people point it out or how it is advertised in the media it is totally misrepresented almost like it is not even a human thing, but a commodity.

Like when was the last time you really actually felt like a ‘woman’ when you were with someone you were dating?

I mean people today just don’t know how to let those things that we feel, even towards one another, just happen and release. They hold on to them and people get jealous and resentful, and we bring the worst parts out of what could have been a beautiful experience.

3 comments:

Unknown said...

Very well done! This post combined the the previous really helps to put frames into perspective. Are there any book you would suggest on conversational framing. I was looking at the book Mind Lines and was thinking about pick that up. I can't wait to see what the next post has in store and look forward to hopefully attending your lair talk in Bean town.

CA

Synth said...

Whoa! The stuff you say in your frames shows your intense level of social dynamic understanding, bro. I mean "They hold on to them (feelings) and people get jealous and resentful, and we bring the worst parts out of what could have been a beautiful experience." I hope people read this and see the succinct truth in what you wrote. Got to let the emotions flow. Can't repress them or we kill ourselves from within. Props, dude.
- Synth

Synth said...

Whoa! The stuff you say in your frames shows your intense level of social dynamic understanding, bro. I mean "They hold on to them (feelings) and people get jealous and resentful, and we bring the worst parts out of what could have been a beautiful experience." I hope people read this and see the succinct truth in what you wrote. Got to let the emotions flow. Can't repress them or we kill ourselves from within. Props, dude.
- Synth