Saturday, February 28, 2009

The Roadwarrior

I am not sure if you watched Professional Wrestling and you remember Hawk an Animal (actually is I recall there was a third way back when), but this is a different kind of Road Warrior.

About 2 years ago I heard of this guy that Taught Pick Up and lived in his Van, touring around the country with bands and taking pictures. I remember the guys telling me were kind of making fun of him...

I told them, "You know I have done the same thing and I actually miss it'.
(I have a 2003 Toyota Tacoma that I got with 8miles on it that now has 265,000 miles on it.
I have toured with it playing music, driven to Guatemala while living in my truck in Mexico and I have driven through at least 40 states with it, either playing music, doing photography or working on the road. I recommend it to everyone. I didn't start doing it till I was 26, it is cheap, and probably a reason why I am good at Pick Up, cause when your car breaks down in Appalachia and you need help, you make it happen. Although I envy my friends in bands who started doing it when they were 16...those motherfuckers.
You have to learn to make friends fast. In 15 days in Europe I went there knowing no one and paid only one night for a place to sleep, every other day I made a friend to crash with.

I have also train hopped and hitchhiked, but driving across America is an Amazing experience. I will also say this, living out of your truck in Mexico is a lot easier than you would think, all you people who would think it to be dangerous, I would say if you have a little bit of experience and common sense you will do fine.
I was never ripped off or had any problems there. I avoided a few of them, but Mexico is a pretty awesome country.)

In any case, I kept hearing about this guy and finally I met him when I gave a Lair Talk in Austin.
The guy came up to me (not knowing who he was) and was talking about how he had gamed all over and traveled,

I said, 'what is your name'
He said 'Jason'
I said 'no your PUA name'
He said, 'GoneSavage'

I said, 'Holy Shit, you're Gone Savage? We shoudl talk man...'

Now being GoneSavage the hippie vagabond he is we pretty much never talked. I continued teaching pick up, and he continued living the life, music, photography, the road, and women...

When I say Women you have to realize GS is pretty much a 6-12 New Lay a month guy, and he lived out of a Van. His game is interesting too, he is pretty much the only guy, I have seen take Speed Seduction and make it work. But he is beyond good at Pick Up but more importantly he lives life.

Another funny story is he knows DJ Fuji and last Sept. Fuji told me while eating at a restaurant...

'You know GS would eat other people's food'

I said, "I do that"

Fuji said, "No, he would eat food that was leftover off of other people's plates, not his friends"

I said, (having just gotten back from backpacking around Europe-Mexico and the Caribbean are WAY better by the way. Sadly I will not be biking through Cambodia and Vietnam with Village Dog, in March, but next time my man) "I did the same thing when I was just in Europe. And when you are on the road you eat what you can. the sad part is that the amount of food that we waste is pathetic, it is horrible that we throw so much away."

Fuji said, "You're crazy man"

Anyway check out
GoneSavages Blog, he just started posting on it... as Shaft told me...
"It is Awesome, he basically drives around the country photographs bands and sleeps with a bunch of women..."
GoneSavage's Blog
(on a side note, anyone who hasn't seen how amazing the USA is, drive through it, I have driven across the country over 6 times and countless times on short trips within it. The people all around the world are amazing, but in the US they are too. You can do it on $50 a day, and with that budget you can buy your own food...)

Here is GS' post that I like...maybe because he mentions me...

Lustful Sex vs Obligatory Sex: Which Do You Want?

By GoneSavage

I’ve seen a few articles popping up recently like Will the Recession End Gold Digging” and “Market for Romance Goes from Bullish to Sheepish: Are Guys with Less to Spend Less of a Catch?”

Let me tell you where all this is headed and why you are far ahead in the game of life just by finding the community – and taking steps toward improving yourself – than the guy who buys into the wine-and-dine provider model.

Here's the reality. Being comfortable and sexual with women is the primary skill you need in life. Making money (for your own livelihood), is secondary. I'm usually not so hierarchical. I think skills with women and pursuing your purpose in life should be of equal importance. But when talking about the specific monetization aspect of pursuing your purpose, you have to put ability with women on top of that.

Let’s look at a quote from a guy interviewed in the article above, he says this:

"One of the first questions is: 'What do you do? You own your own company? How many people work for you? Are you working at home or do you go to an office?' They are literally sizing you up." And, he said, he doesn't blame them -- especially if the girl is beautiful. "They can afford to be picky."

This guy carries the erroneous belief that money is the only way to attract a woman. The more he buys into this, and the more he shows off (if and when he has money) the more he is going to be seen as an easy target for manipulative women. After he’s wined-and-dined, chased-and-impressed, and otherwise deferred to her, she may have sex with him. But understand something: This is obligatory sex and not lustful sex.

When a guy like that loses his job, he suddenly has an identity crisis. He’s confused, frustrated, and convinced he has no value. His identity is based on the superficial results he gets from shallow women.

So this is my first point. As the article says, the recession is forcing people toward “looking for more creative ways to attract partners.” One result is that guys are going to turn toward the internet for solutions. And the community is going to get even larger and more publicized.

You guys got in early. You’ve already developed character, confidence, and charm. You’re far ahead of the pack with introspection and self-actualization. If you’ve gone as far as developing empathy, moral disposition, and are comfortable with your own sexuality (specifically) and the female sexuality (in general), you are drastically ahead of the masses. Congratulations.

So now my second point: Obligatory sex is what you get when you entertain her and impress her. Lustful sex comes from raw, mutual attraction and arousal.

When a woman has sex out of obligation she does not respect you. If she does not respect you, she will not be sexually fulfilled. She will be frustrated. These women make poor lovers. They fake orgasms, fantasize about other men, flirt with other men, deceptively have sex with other men, and constantly “test” you for weakness. How erotic and romantic is that?

Now, the easiest way to contrast lustful sex with obligatory sex is to point out guys that wine-and-dine. “But I found the community, and I know not to do that. I don’t buy girls drinks or dinner or anything.” But also understand this:

Entertaining, amusing, impressing, babysitting, chasing, courting, wooing, deferring to her expectations, consciously displaying your higher value, and convincing her of your status OFTEN can only lead to obligatory sex and not lustful sex.

Think about it. You’re still playing the social conditioning game.

I watched a product by the masters of social (not sexual) dynamics and it said “Women have sex to cement a moment or to blow off steam.” Hmm. I get it. What they want you to take away is this: “Guys, it’s just sex – it’s not a big deal to her, so it shouldn’t be to you.” Still, I remember this bothering me and I couldn’t quite figure out why.

What about women (and men) that have sex because of lust, desire, arousal, impulse, urge, craving, longing, yearning, carnal delight, rapture, ecstasy, joy, bliss, pleasure, satisfaction, and just because it feels great?

Don’t get me wrong. You’ve got to be positive, social, and good-humored. You’ve got to make friends and have a social life. But often the social game leads to merely getting attention that may lead to “no big deal” passionless sex. She thinks you’re cool and “sexworthy” and, hell, why not cement a moment with you? You’re pleasant and funny; why not blow off some steam with you?

This is sex from a place of obligation, not compulsion. There may be attraction, but not arousal. There may be casual pleasure, but not deep satisfaction. It’s all a subtly that neither you nor she may ever realize.

El Topo puts it this way: “What women find attractive about men can vary in specific physical qualities, but men who understand women’s sexuality are more attractive than any ‘attraction switch’.”

I concur, but I think it’s really three things wrapped in one: A man who is comfortable with his own sexuality, understands a woman’s sexuality, and has no problem talking openly and candidly about sex is a very attractive man. This is the guy that deeply arouses a woman and enjoys the passionate nuances of lustful sex.

That’s my biggest point here. Simultaneously appreciating and conveying sexuality will get you further with the opposite sex than anything else, including money and superficial social skills. Guys, this is how men and women have amazing, meaningful sex. This is how men and women have relationships based on mutual pursuit, mutual desire, and mutual gratification.

It’s also this realization that’s going to save the community from negative portrayal.

Take the manipulation out of your quest for satisfaction, and take yourself out of a game based on manipulation. Cultivate empathy, respect, reciprocity, and pursue women that want mutually gratifying lustful sex.

The way I see it, the community will thrive when we hone our focus.

My role is to help people (both men and women) understand sexuality, attain lustful sex, and maintain healthy relationships (both short-lived and long-term) based on lust, honesty, and reciprocity.

Isn't that what you really want?


GoneSavage said...

Aside from being a shagabond and a serial tourist (I feel more accomplished having hiked every national park in the continetal US plus 4 in Alaska than anyting else), continental drifting has also allowed me to have some unusual firsthand experiences. I've seen some crazy shit by looking at the world through a windshield...

In Vegas, in some casino parking lot, this really hot chick drops her panties and takes a huge shit right next to the van...

I LA, a guy punches through my window and would have made off with my computer and camera had I not woken up and scared the piss out of him...

In SF, I woke up as I was actually being lifted onto a tow truck...

I Montreal, I woke up to find a guy just sitting there in the pasenger seat about to take my computer (I had left the door unlocked that time)...

Even here in Austin, I had my back window shot out in a drive-by...had I been sitting instead of laying (sleeping), I would have been shot...

I've seen people fighting, people fucking, been attacked by a bear, broken down in strange, desoloate places, and yeah, done creative things to get food. But it was all exciting and life-affirming.

Two more things I wanted to metion:

The girls I would meet love my shaggin wagon -- which is really just a mobile motel room -- it was comfotable, convenient, and allowed her to become a part of the journey, on the cheap, and at a moment's notice. I've actually had 4 different women road trip with me for periods of over 1 month. Many many more autocamped with me on smaller trips.

Sadly, the cassanova caravan is no more. I now have a nice, small apartment in Austin that is a vivid display of my personality. I have five diverse aquariums and call it the Fishloft. Guys, how you surround yourself -- as in the place you live -- speaks volumes about your priorities, how you relate to others, your ideas, and what you try to hide and what you try to reveal with women. Your home is a mirror of you. You can tell how good a guy is with women by looking at his home. I've been in a lot of community guys homes, and I have to say that most of them are so toxic they should honestly frighten women away. And they do. I know guys that can pull women and lose the hook-up when she see's his place. Part of my coaching is usually a room-by-room analysis of a guy's place to observe feelings, motivation, and elemental proclivities that are at work. We correct some red flags and then make the place more sociable and soothing.

So whether you live in a van or a mansion -- learn the subleties of what you're communicating the moment someone steps through your threshold.


Erika said...

hey El Topo,

Nice post. I laughed all the way through your introduction, and then I was thinking man I gotta meet this GoneSavage guy.

Then I read his article, and that convinced me even more.

In NVC circles, we try to move people away from "shoulds" and "have tos" to wants, desires, passions, and giving that comes spontaneously from the heart. The kind of giving that feels so inherently good that it no longer matters whether you receive something in return.

Anyway, when I read GS's article, I hear resonances of those same themes. I personally don't have obligatory sex. Ever. (Then again, my lays are few and far between for that very reason, lol :-) But I know other women who do.

Won't it be wonderful when we live in a world where we are all inspiring such attraction in each other that obligatory sex has become a thing of the past?

I'm inspired too by GoneSavage's vagabond lifestyle, just as I'm inspired by Sinn picking up and leaving his city to do something completely new and fun.

See ya in Vegas, El Topo.


JW said...

As cheesy as it sounds, I find this article pretty groundbreaking.

In GoneSavage's own words, I like how he shows how the focus should be honed in the community. And I think he's pointing in the right direction.

Thanks for sharing, ET.


JW said...

As cheesy