Friday, June 13, 2008

El Topo's Smooth Transitions to Comfort

So I am about to head up to Detroit for a Lair Talk and Workshop with Entropy from Boston.

Should be an awesome weekend, and should be a learning experience all around.
Doc, Saffron, Entropy and Myself are all going to trade One on One’s with each other.
And form now on anyone that I work with closely we will do the same thing.

In any case, there are also some new podcast coming out and some audio LRs (don’t let that fool you, it is more like us interviewing each other about certain LRs we have had).

But I wanted to write this mainly because my Gaming Towards a Life Style and My Text Message breakdown Posts have been popular.
This will shed some light on both of those topics as well as shed light on topics that are often ignored in the community.

So what made theREDstack such a popular product was that there is so little
information out there on comfort game.

When someone is new to the community or they take their first Boot Camp they will often say that they Have no Attraction Game, but once they are talking to a girl they are fine (assumed Comfort). But once they work on Attraction and get that down, Comfort then loses its familiarity.

Mainly because it has no structure.

But again let me know what you think,

If you are like MMAPUA and don’t want to read my ramblings on Theory then skip to the part listed as EXAMPLE way down at the bottom.

On Mon I will post the rest of this on the and the Lounge too.
But in this post I will show you how to establish Frames that smoothly lead you into Comfort.

So when we get to the Comfort Game there was very little ever written on it or taught in general about it.

Initially it was broken down into 3 parts, C1, C2 and C3.
I think that these were a good way to simplify things but even the breakdown of Attraction in this same way neglects a lot of the interactions.
Things like A1, A2 and A3 are generally consistent in interactions, but there is a lot more to it and a lot less than what is normally sold.
Attraction Game sells and feels good at first, but it really has very little to do with getting to know someone let alone sleeping with them, and if you’re into the normal disturbing interactions I work towards it is useless.

So the person that helped me understand Comfort the best is the genius Captain Jack.
What he did was cut out DHVs and start to use Frames. Also what I saw him to and what Shaft does was layer a rhythm of emotions and frames.

CJ would actually use his dossal style of Attraction just enough to begin the Rhythm of his framing.

So before I breakdown some examples, let’s go over a few things.

1-Why Comfort is important?

Comfort is not babysitting or just gaining rapport. It is not just time bridging and changing locations. It is not telling heart melters or even emotionally moving someone. It is not just framing someone, or eliciting a subpersonality…it is all those things and more. It is how you place them all together.

It is getting someone into Rapport (on an equal level to you, no need to gain more dominance, but rather maintain it) and moving the interaction where you want it to go.
The reason why it is important is because you can have your most amount of influence here. You can actually define your relationship to your target here, and that is what this thing called game is really all about.

2- What is Layering emotions and Frames?

What I saw CJ do, then Shaft do and myself do, was simple take the same idea of multi threading but instead use Frames and different emotional eliciting stories to have the Frames gain more validity and momentum.

So CJ might give off some fun sexual frame, and then transition immediately into a story about his life that brought out emotion (aka a Heart Melter)

An example would be Strawberry Field into the Electric Bill story.
I will give more examples later.

3- What are Subpersonalities and Why are they important?

Subpersonalities are one way of saying that people have dynamics within themselves that are consistent. Like everybody has a part of them that can go totally out of control, everyone has a part of them that can be angry, everyone has a part to them that likes o be innocent and again, if you’re me, everyone has a side to them that likes to have their sexual creativity pushed to their limits.
Sometimes they are referred to as roles.
Now the reason why they’re important is because they help build compliance in a frame you’re trying to instill in someone.

What is mean is that if you are telling a girl that she is a girl that doesn’t judge you want her to believe it. So if you can bring that out with a part of her personality for her to immediately act upon then you have not only built a belief in her that, that side of her exists, but also you have gotten her to exercise that muscle of compliance towards that action, and if you’re really good you can then define that action as some other frame you’re going for.

Again, I will give an example of all this a bit later.

4- How do I manage Comfort?

This is something that people always ask me. Actually they ask me, what if you don’t get into comfort that quick. Well you can achieve rapport right away, but you can’t necessarily hold it. Every set it different but you will always need to do what we call CYCLE Attraction.

Attraction is your tool to open up window so that you can go further in Set.
So you can use it to transition in Comfort, you can use it to introduce a Frame, you can use it to work your logistics, you can use it to bust through LMR. It is the main tool in the Kung Fu Penis.

But in going for Rapport as quickly as possible and keeping it moving in the direction you want it to go, you have to manage it. So you have to use Attraction to make it move in the right direction.
So now think of Attraction like an Attitude rather than a series of steps.
Attraction is what you use to maintain comfort.

And again I will include examples of how to make this work below.

So before we get to the examples let’s go over briefly how loose Comfort was laid out before.
C1 was to Isolate. That is true but there wasn’t nearly as much of a structure to it than there was laid out for attraction, which is such a small interaction of game (considering a timeline, Comfort was always the most predominant area).

C2 was to Possibly Kiss and to set up the Time Bridge.
This is true too but you don’t need to Time Bridge all the time, and you can Kiss earlier too. I think Kissing in the Venue you meet them at while working quick game sets off more ASD than anything.

C3 was the Day 2. Day 2s are good for a while I was on a steak that I never did them, but sometimes you just got to. But again there was a lack of real structure to them.

And don’t get me started on the Seduction Part. There is even less information on that, and I am not even sure why… cause I thought that was the end goal in all of this.
I thought that this was all about getting laid and although I know the founders in all of this did get laid, it was just that none of this was ever broken down in a way that could work for most guys. But the Seduction Phase is definitely something that people like myself, Sinn, CJ, and pretty much everyone we work with can breakdown.

So in order to give this some structure, let’s say I am coaching a guy on Routines that is a Computer Programmer that is from a Family where he is the Only Child, and lives in Chicago, but is from a small town in Indiana and didn’t move to a big city until after college. The guy I am coaching has a hobby of Reading Self Help Books.
Now all the guys need to do is have some balls and is willing to open and gain dominance in the set. What to say, I can post about, but all the Body Language, Tonality, Expressions, and How you interact in set I can’t really write about…for now at least.

So here is the stack I would give him…

(I have broken it up into Parts so That is will be easier to Breakdown later)
From Opener


Hey guys, do you think that people kissing in a bar is something that totally normal or kind of weird?

(they answer)

Well, it is crazy because the other night I was with my friend Nancy and we saw these two totally getting down like in the hallway to the bathroom. I mean even the bouncers were afraid to break em up.
Like I was at the point where I was ready to hand em the keys to my car and the condom in my pocket.

But seriously when I was with my ex we would be intimate but we never wanted to show off, we would actually be somewhere out of someone’s view.

Transition with

So how do you guys know each other?

(they answer, doesn’t matter what they say)

That is interesting because I was just reading in this book about people’s reactions to questions and it was saying how at your first impression with someone that actually can tell you more about someone than what they tell you 5 mins after you meet them. I mean I was an only child so I have always been really good at getting what I want.
Like with you I can tell that you lead the group, and how you interact with people you’re the one that will actually pave the way for you friends.
And you, I don’t know, but you’re more of the person everybody has fun with, like the last time someone hit on one of your friends you are always the one that give me the most trouble.

And you, you are just plain trouble. I would even want to get started with you.
You would totally be like my little sister if I had one.

No but it was funny because one of the things I was reading about there was this guy who went around asking people questions and depending on how they reacted he was able to find out who he would get along with best.

So actually come here for a second (mini isolate the target)
So let me ask you this,
And just the first thing that comes to your head.

What is the Craziest thing you’ve done?
No come on no need to blush, just the first thing that comes to mind…

(make her answer, and make it fun, this is not to qualify in the traditional sense. It is to gain compliance and to cold read)

Ok so really, that is it with you? Now I can already tell you seem pretty cool, either that or you’re a total dork, but I can tell you’re someone that I am probably going to end up knowing for a while. And because of that, I know you have done weirder shit than what you just said.

(If the group is still around then you can engage for just a second with this but only to keep them happy and back to more isolation with her)

So guys, she is totally the girl that you can’t trust with anything right…
Like she is always the big gossip, right?

(back to mini isolation before the girl remerges the group)

But actually it is a funny thing cause…actually what is a hobby of yours?
(she answers)
So you know how there are things that you do, like outside of hanging out with your friends that can shape you outlook on things. Like even when you are around certain people is can totally change your perspective?
And I have this friend Sheila and she is like one of the most beautiful people I know, but she is super insecure, and once she opens her mouth you pick up on it right away.
But with me most of my friends around me always say that when they hangout with me they feel comfortable in telling me anything.

Actually with you, and with just how you respond you’re that friend that probably can keep a secret better than any of them, mainly because you don’t judge people and your friend come at you with all sorts of crazy stuff. So if we do anything crazy tonight you’ll have to pinky swear with me not to tell anyone…


So here is one of the things with me. And it has always been a really big pet peeve.
I work with computers, and I always knew I would be in a field where I could use that creative side to me but also technical. The only problem is that most of the people I work with come at it from a completely different angle.
They work to work, rather than work to accent a certain part of themselves.
Actually what is it that you do for work?

(she answers)

That’s kind of cool, it is actually like the same thing with me. You have the same passions and can over the line at times but you don’t really do it around everyone. But when you are comfortable around people you actually have no problem showing it.
I would even say that you have a lot of friends but you only have 2 or 3 really good ones that actually get to see your wild side.

So really now, tell me the truth, what is something that is totally out of your element that people don’t get from you?

(she answers)

Ok so I am still not sure about you… you’ve totally inspired me I have got to give you this test. Come here.

(isolate some more, away form friends)

Ok so again just the first thing that comes to mind here.
My friend actually asked me this thing when I had just broken up with my ex so my answer would probably be different now.
So just the first one that comes to mind…
So pick a number between one and four.

Alright, you got it?

So what did you pick?

(here is how you read the answers…
first you start out by saying what you number was and it needs to be different than yours.
So you say…)

So when I did it I picked X
And like I said I was just out of a relationship and so X means that I was hesitant to show people what I was like all the time. Like I actually would rather go out with a group of people and than by myself. I would rather have people lead than be independent.

But you being a Y, that is a bit different. You are actually your best self when you acting on your own. And more than your friends you can be really aggressive, but more internally than anything. Like I said you have this total wild side when you are allowed to feel it.
Like I wouldn’t even want to see what kind of crazy shit you have got in you closet at home, there’s probably all these crazy trophies from your ex boyfriend. I could totally see you as the girl that could intimidate most guys you meet.

So right now we will break.
Here this is a good lead into establishing Comfort while building up all your frames and generating attraction while doing it.

I will post the Breakdowns on Monday with the rest of the stuff, showing how to build off of those Frames and do so with Subpersonalities and really making their emotions invested in to how you are defining your interaction with them

But you see game can work for anybody, you just have got to voice it in the right way!

And as alway, let me know what you think


Maysin said...

such a brilliant and helpful post!! Thanks Topo for all you do cause this stuff is sooooo helpful for people.

P_inept said...

Thanks ET! This is great man!

mmapua said...

If you are like MMAPUA and don’t want to read my ramblings on Theory then skip to the part listed as EXAMPLE way down at the bottom.


Joshua said...

finally you explain this new style man, thank you, your posts for the last 4 months have screwed my brain up more than helped me lololol

Cash said...

"So if you can bring that out with a part of her personality for her to immediately act upon then you have not only built a belief in her that, that side of her exists, but also you have gotten her to exercise that muscle of compliance towards that action, and if you’re really good you can then define that action as some other frame you’re going for"

innovative stuff!!!

Cking said...

dude are you going to post the follow up to this